Yeah, obviously I didn't really keep up like I said I would. Oh well. Not like anyone reads it anyway, right?
So... what has been going on in the past three months? Quite a bit. Tomorrow is my 10-month T-Day. Yay! I can't believe it's been almost a year since I started. I have experienced significant changes. My voice is awesome. I have quite a bit of facial hair, though I could still use more, but most transguys I've talked to are pissed off because they have very little in comparison, and have been on T for much longer than I have. Sorry. I just tell them it's my hairy Mexi-Jew genetics.
The rest of my body has also developed quite a bit of hair. My belly is covered, and my chest is getting hairy, though not too bad yet. My chest size has diminished quite a bit, which is something I didn't expect. With a binder, I look totally flat, it's amazing. I've also lost a lot of weight since I began T, though. During the first few months, I gained a lot of weight, and was looking a bit chubby. But over the past few months, I've dropped significant poundage. It's almost to the point of being unhealthy, actually, but I haven't been able to eat much lately. Oh well. Then I got the flu yesterday, and haven't really eaten in two days, so that doesn't help.
As for non-physical issues... well, things aren't great, but I suppose they're improving. I'm STILL with my fucking mom. Ugh. I really didn't expect to be here over three months later, but oh well. Things got all fucked up with my housing, and now I have to wait until my next financial aid payment before I can afford to move, since I have to pay for it all myself now. I get money the day after X-mas, which is funny, in an evily ironic sort of way... But I think it's also good, it means I won't be able to spend it beforehand. I have a little bit left to get me through the month, I just can't buy much for people. Milla is the only one I'm really concerned about, but I think she's old enough to understand, and she wants to move out as much as I do. I think she's sick of sleeping on a cot in the hall, just as I'm sick of sleeping on a shitty futon in the basement. I have no privacy, no space, and it's driving me fucking insane.
I'm still not taking my antidepressants, and I've stopped taking Xanax daily. I take it every once in a while, if I really, really need it, but for the most part I've been fine without it. As for weed... I tried quitting again, but then yesterday when I felt really sick I gave up and smoked, because I knew it was the only thing that would settle my stomach a little bit. And it did, of course. But after this, I'll be quitting again. I haven't smoked at all today, actually.
School... well, I have learned that I absolutely HATE women's studies. The worst class ever. It's actually Gender and Critical Inquiry. I thought it sounded interesting, but it just consists of reading massive amounts of feminist literature then talking about it for two ours in class. Yeah, not my favorite learning structure. Statistics is horrible, just because the instructor sucks balls. I paid over $100 for the book and have opened it maybe once. She doesn't really use it, and that sucks not just because of what I paid, but because that's how I learn math! I can't just have a brief explanation in class and then expect to get it. She doesn't give us homework from the book or anything. I'm supposed to take the next level of it next term, but I'm afraid I won't know what the fuck is going on because I haven't learned enough this term. Ugh. I need it before I can take any upper-division psychology classes, though. Which brings me to psychology... I love that class. It's the one class I have an A in, with very little effort. I'm glad it's my major. I'm also taking this Intro to Pre-Med class, which is just an hour a week telling us how impossible it is to get into med school. Wonderful.
What else... Keita! Yeah, we're sort of back together now. She totally shunned me all summer, and I had basically given up on her even as a friend really, other than someone to talk to on the phone a few times a week. She was seeing some lame girl that she didn't really like. I still don't know quite how it all happened, but I went to visit her in Corvallis for the first time since I'd moved, I believe it was early October. I had absolutely no intention of anything happening, I was there strictly as a friend. Apparently she had other ideas, though. So we slept together, and she broke up with her girlfriend a few days later, and we've been seeing each other every weekend since then.
It's great when I'm with her, but this long distance shit fucking sucks. I want her to move up here, but she doesn't want to leave her job. So we have to settle for weekends for now. I think I can convince her to move eventually, but I imagine it's going to take some time. Hopefully I can hang on that long.
She's doing much better with the gender thing, though. She uses male pronouns all the time, even when it relates to sex, which I never thought was possible with her since she was so concerned about being "straight." She has yet to call me her boyfriend, though. I don't really care about that as much, I'm just glad that she accepts me now for who I am.
Well, I suppose that's enough rambling. This is quite long, I feel bad for the poor soul who actually does read this shit.